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I’m sure you were all hoping for an article about amateur genetics, but instead, we’re going to talk about custom monster construction in 5E today. Because, while I can’t grow my own custom herbs, I can build my own custom monsters. And coming up with your own custom solutions in accounting usually ends up with the IRS throwing you in jail.įortunately, at least my adventure wasn’t ruined and didn’t land me in the bathroom for two hours. I could have just picked up a few herbs, taken them to my genetics lab, and grown my own custom dill. If I’d been a geneticist, I could have handled the situation easily.

I found myself thinking about the dill problem. But I had to stop pretty quickly so I could go to the bathroom and suffer the consequences of McDonalds. So after I finished the McDonalds, I starting statting up some custom monsters. And then I found myself thinking that the adventure would actually work better if I customized several other monsters. I couldn’t find just the perfect monster in the Monster Manual. I get spiteful.Īt the same time, I’d been thinking about my monster and adventure thing. Because, if dinner was going to be ruined, it was going to be Ruined with a capital ‘r’. The store didn’t have either of those fresh either. Now, ultimately, salmon works well with tarragon or thyme. Sure enough, everyone agrees, it’s dill or nothing. In fact, just to make sure, I pulled out my iPhone and did a quick internet search. And ground up dill bits in one of those little spice jars wouldn’t work. But that aside, the store had no fresh dill. As a fun side note, I’ve been having a lot of trouble finding dill in Chicago. But the store didn’t have any fresh dill. There, I picked up a chunk of salmon, a lemon, and some fresh dill. So, I decided to put the adventure building on hold and head to the grocery store. Well, I decided it was a good night for this lemon and dill infused salmon I make in my steamer. And I realized I hadn’t given any thought to dinner for the night.

Anyway, I found myself flipping through the Monster Manual, looking for something to fill out an encounter in a room that had a really thing I can’t talk about. Now, I can’t talk in too much detail about it for fear that my players will read this article before they finish the adventure and ruin a surprise. The other day, I was working on an adventure for my home group. Let me tell you a story that most GMs will be able to relate to.